⚠️ Someone recently told me that we as women should focus on gaining respect from others through our intelligence and our contribution rather than on being attractive. ⚠️
I couldn’t disagree more.
Our focus shouldn’t be on gaining anything from others…and you can’t gain what you don’t already have. So if you need others to respect you….
But I also disagree with the idea that women don’t care about being attractive.
It’s a rather peculiar concept…that a women would sever her sexuality in order to be accepted for something more important, meaningful or valuable…
Listen ladies: You are valuable. Period. So we can set that one aside (you don’t earn something you are). ✅
You are meaningful. ✅
And you are most certainly important. ✅
Now that you are already secure in who you are, you can call all the parts of yourself back that you cut off in the name of liberation.
You can joyously come back to being whole and wholly you. You can welcome home your brain, heart and vagina into one very happy multidimensional being, dwelling in a gloriously gorgeous body, with an overflowing heart and a bright and beaming brain. You’re welcome.
But because I love to turn things upside down…
What woman doesn’t want to be attractive⁉️
In fact, women who push for this idea of putting forth our intelligence and strength deeply desire to be attractive and beautiful, but have let that ship sail because they didn’t think they could “win” in that arena. (Hand over mouth. 🤭 Yes she said it .)
Do you know that insecurity tells us not to play games we don’t think we can win?
So when a woman doesn’t believe she is beautiful or a man doesn’t feel he is attractive, they will only play the game they know can win.
This will often show up as overcompensating in one area to the exclusion of another.
This push for intelligence and respect apart from sexuality is just that.
If you are content in who you are, confident in yourself and at peace, you don’t need to push for anything because you get to have it all.
A confident women gets what she wants. It comes to her with ease.
A confident woman embodies the sexiest most attractive energetic force – love.
Love of self and love of others – two sides of the same coin.
She doesn’t need to try.
She doesn’t need to bait or manipulate.
Her beauty isn’t used against men.
Her beauty IS. And her beauty awakens the man within the man. who now wants to give to her. To go out of his way for her. To listen to her. To open his heart to her.
A confident women doesn’t need to wave her intelligence badge in a man’s face to earn respect.
A man naturally respects a woman who knows her worth.
She rests in who she is and her essence does the work for her.
She glows, radiating light which attracts on a level deeper than mere appearance.
She is inviting, unafraid, relaxed, open, mysterious, deep and safe.
And it feels good (damn good) to be around her.
A confident woman is enchanting and holds the answers to the questions of your heart.
Listen. There is something about a woman who knows who she is, what she is worth and what belongs to her.
When it comes to the advice to just stick to being smart and doing good, I’ll keep doing things my way instead.
It shouldn’t be this or that.
It’s all of the above.
You get to have it all, to be it all.
I am intelligent.
I am worthy of respect.
I am a lover and a giver.
I am beautiful and sexy.
I am the full package.
And so are you.
Why would this be upsetting to anyone?
If another woman is upset with you over your confidence and beauty, she is not truly upset with you at all. She is upset with herself.
She thinks you have something she doesn’t. Which isn’t true. It’s a matter of what you choose to access and what she does not.
If you are the one who feels that way, may I offer a notion – that your frustration isn’t really with me or any other confident beautiful woman.
If you are experiencing another woman’s frustration, understand it is really with herself because she bought into a BS story about herself.
Your confidence touches on her insecurity.
What I would be thinking if I were you:
Instead of being upset with the bold way I show up, ask me how the f*ck I dropped insecurity for good.
Why not come and talk to me about how to embody all of your beauty?
I actually care about you.
I actually want you to be free.
I actually want you to know how beautiful you are inside and out.
I actually do this because I love you.
I can’t be anything other than that.
But if you judge me, shut me out or shun me, then you won’t be able to learn from me or receive from me.
And worse, you’ll be stuck in insecurity.
Look babe. I know there were some mean b*tches who tried to hurt you out of their own hurt. But not all women are competing.
Some actually want to help others rise up. I’m one of them.
P.S. Love, you don’t have to be afraid anymore.