• Confidence and Identity

    The Substance of True Confidence

    🔥There is tangible, palpable substance to true confidence.🔥 I know confidence like the back of my hand. I eat, sleep, breathe that shit. Confidence is one of those things you KNOW you possess on a gut level. You don’t have to do anything special, dress/look/walk/talk a certain way. It’s not something you have or do. It’s who.you.are. It’s unshakable, inexhaustible, undeterred – unfuckwithable. When you walk confident AF it’s NOT something you put on like expensive clothes or get into like a flashy car. And it’s definitely not how you walk. You know, the peacock strut. 🤢🙄   When you “put it on” as if it were an attitude, you…

  • Confidence and Identity,  Fear Insecurity Shame,  Sexual Revolution,  Women's Sexuality

    Her Royal Hotness

    ⚠️ Someone recently told me that we as women should focus on gaining respect from others through our intelligence and our contribution rather than on being attractive. ⚠️ I couldn’t disagree more. Our focus shouldn’t be on gaining anything from others…and you can’t gain what you don’t already have. So if you need others to respect you…. But I also disagree with the idea that women don’t care about being attractive. It’s BS. It’s a rather peculiar concept…that a women would sever her sexuality in order to be accepted for something more important, meaningful or valuable… Listen ladies: You are valuable. Period. So we can set that one aside (you…

  • Fear Insecurity Shame,  Poetry

    I see you.

    This is for someone special. I see you in your hiding. And I wrote this just for you. ✨✨✨ Where are you hiding tonight? Why won’t you come to the light?Your secrets have you locked up inside.And your heart cries for freedom. I know where you’re hiding tonight.I know why you won’t come to the light.I see how you’re locked up inside.My heart cries for freedom. “Freedom!” to the captive.“Sight!” to the blind.“Bind up!” unto the broken. Liberation transforms life. This is why I came.To free you from guilt and shame.To this I give my life.To free your soul from strife. Come out of hiding.Out of the shadows of shame.Into…

  • Fear Insecurity Shame,  Relationships,  Soulmate Connections

    Love’s Wild Ride

    Have you ever wanted to find love again and yet were afraid of the very opportunity you desired? Did you know that the chemicals released in our body for fear and excitement are only distinguished by the thought patterns we have about them when they are released? We actually make the chemical feeling mean something (emotion), and we pull this meaning from our memory, from our associations/experiences – good or bad. So when it comes to love, we often both desire and fear it. We move towards it and then run back to safety. Sending these mixed signals often leaves us with a relationship we have mixed feelings about or…

  • Confidence and Identity,  Fear Insecurity Shame,  Women's Sexuality

    Confronting Accusations

    A woman recently accused me of being the reason broken women were still in the throes of sexual bondage and insecurity over their appearance. “…ur keeping women im the whole instagram bullshit problem…” She made the point that real “hot momma/vavoomness” comes from a woman who doesn’t need to use tactics to get what she wants, but that she is creating change through inspiration and not giving a damn about what society expects. (You can read her viewpoint in the comments here.) With her full statements, she implies that if I (and other women) were not “leading” with sexuality that Instagram and FB would be full of images of intelligent, powerful…

  • Confidence and Identity,  Poetry,  The Journey Inward

    Poem: Let Love Heal

    If I could tell you one thing today to heal your heart and make pain go away, I would tell you what I always say, “You are loved, my love.” But I know what happens inside your head. You hear it and for a millisecond hold it dear to your heart, but that is one millisecond before the grand jury starts. They tell you from inside your head why you don’t deserve it and haven’t earned it and that your heart is quite dead. In other words, it’s no use. They give you every damned excuse as to why you’re unworthy of the love you desire, so as to protect…

  • Confidence and Identity,  Fear Insecurity Shame,  The Journey Inward

    Fear is a Focus, Not a Fact.

    I met a woman this past weekend. She had wild eyes, full of adventure, full of excitement – and full of fear. Clearly she had built a life for herself, and no one could deny her talents. But in that moment, she couldn’t see what they saw. She confided in me that she’d been running her whole life – running away from falling, from failing, from not making it on her own. And she ran damn hard, straight into the wall of fear, every time. She was tenacious. She was strong. She was determined. But in the quiet, in the stillness, she was haunted. Fear had had its grip on…